Monday, December 03, 2007
i'm like. strumming my guitar. right now. playing qing tian. again.. and again... and again.. practice makes perfect. i'm dead bored.
saw odac today. :D or some of em. shoes. dan. hz. marcus. chang yong *surprise*. damn glad she could get out of the house la. anyway. suppose to have lvl run today. which i personally screwed up. e rest aren't too bad though. at least their on their way to getting back their previous levels of stamina. i'm still stuck in the dirt. and that was after 2 or 3 rounds. pathetic. suck.
all those dreams of being focused and getting past my runs easily. just dreams. i don't have the ability to make it real. and it sucks. because i'm a slacker. and i still can't break my mentality. all the other things i can handle. it's just the runs. and it's my biggest failure. it sucks so much. no one else can understand how fucked up this is for me. because they don't have this problem. they can focus well enough. they can beat down the exhaustion and the 'sian' feeling easily. i can't. and that's why i'm in the dirt. until i can find my balance, i'll always be here.
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well then. about damn time i started trying. :D
heh. i'm not discouraged! which is a first. usually, i'd be ranting right about now. but heck la. i'm just going to try for it. and keep trying. let my juniors see how shitty it is so they don't end up like me. a sucker.
2:34 AM
