Monday, August 20, 2007
hmph. broke my silence in class today. guess i found sum ting to sae after all.. yea. but... i still may hav sudden breaks of silence. when i juz cant take the shit around me.
haha! finally.. nic dorville has passed me her poem book!! whew.. waited how long sia.. unbelievable realli.. it's damn cool la e way she writes... she makes the random and normal stuff of life EVEN more random and turns normal into ABNORMAL. ... truly odacer.. XD
anyhow. exams draw even closer. my paragraphs are still damn short. life is.. feels like it is anyway, drawing to a close. for sum reason. strange strange reason. mayb im gonna die at the end of the year fer sum unexpected reason. hmm. possible. mayb i'll fuck up my exams and end up getting laid back in J1, or worse, transffered to poly, or EVEN WORSE, lose my head and kill myself for failing. hmmm. oso possible. life is like a running track with many many turns and paths. u just hav to choose one and keep ur head downwind and run. run till you die. sum times, u might slow down, but dats ok. juz keep up the momentum. and when u feel it's time, blast off again. cheong. dis is my flash theory on life as i know it.
but for me, a bit different. this is just the general idea.
my life... is no jogging track. it's offroad. i'd liken it to the paths of gunung chamah, cause that is the toughest terrain i noe to date. so yea. and it's night, it's always night. there is silence. stillness and silence. u know there's nothing else living that's there because nothing's moving. it's just a dead silence. exactly what it is. dead. but there are plants. you can feel them, even if u can't really see them. they brush your cheek as u walk, sum times a stray thorn sticks to your hair.
and you can feel sum ting behind you. but wen u turn back to look, all that's there is a black emptiness. like the path behind you gets deleted as you take a step foward. you know sum ting is chasing you. the heat of pursuit is thick in your blood. so you hurry. as fast as u can. scrambling over dead bracken and branches, crunching leaves you can't see, clambering over stones that cut and stab you. and ever so often, you feel a weight, as if of a backpack on you. sum times, it's so light u don't feel it. at other times, it cuts ur shoulder and bends your back. the only light is dat of the stars and moon. most of the time, they are shielded by clouds, thick as wool. but when they are allowed the brief freedom of shining, they light ur whole path up, as far as u can see. with the brilliance of a lost evenstar. and the constellations are your friends, whom u can talk to, and hear a whisper, as if they speak from far off.
this is my life. and the peak is still far away. but im heading there. there's onli one way. up.
2:37 AM
