Sunday, August 26, 2007
2.4 test morrow. nervous. last one i busted my knee. and hong zhou asked me e most difficult 'question'. ever. "why do u keep halfway run run then stop?". e answer wuz damn easy, but hard to sae. "cause im weak in body and mind". see? so now im still reeling from the question. but i dun tink he noes e effect of it. so.. yea. juz leave it first. i juz wanna concentrate on the run, even though got injury. i don't noe any tricks on how to do it. i juz noe i have to do it. another obstacle for me. and i dun just want to complete. i want to complete and at least break 11. im literally begging myself rite now.
e question i'd like to pose myself, just to disturb disturb, is why can't i push it? mayb it's a question of wanting? i don't noe. i need to tink on it. but i seriously need to find out why. soon. cause it's killing my confidence it me. yea. stabbing continuosly with a barbed knife.
heh. got back from e cat retreat in skool last nite.. haha. all i can sae is.. it realli wasnt wad i anticipated it to be. XD haha... yea.. weird. it wuz actually quite fun. despite the fact that bastard showed his face. i seriously, just wanna slam his head in the corner. i swear. punch him till he bleeds out of all holes in the face. kick him wen he's lying dere, prone on the floor. i dun care if i kill the bitch. hu the fuck is he to make my life even more miserable. mayb i shud fuck his life up a bit. yea. i realli hate him. i hate him more den any other person in the world. i swear. i hope i meet him in the gym, cause i'll juz pound his head in with a dumbell. the heaviest i can carry. pound it rite in. no hesitation.
whew. so much anger. boi i realli do hate him. heh. not too good huh? mayb i can fuel myself to run faster on the track morrow by hating him. i dunno.. it prolly wun work. cause im so weak. but anger will make me stronger. but won't love will as well? i dunno. if im asking myself to go round loving random ppl, quite hard. especially dat supercillious bastard. mother fucker. yea.
6:16 AM
