Tuesday, July 03, 2007
just got back from school. ... yea. slack day. well.. not realli la. it wuz a regular day. hav a new pe teacher. erm.. cant rmb her name liao. XD haha. so pai seh. nver mind.. find out nxt lesson. oh wait. nxt lesson having with jason liu. lol. val is wetting her pants. val chua btw. not val tan. XD yea. so dun be mistaken. haha...
training today wuz... i dunno. horrible? horrible but pleasent at the same time. -.- yea damn weird la. fer one ting. most of the training wuz spent in the lt. had dis cool montague and documentary bout The GREATEST PLACES. gets u wondering wad i'd consider one of my top 10 greatest places. XD no. 10 would be mae toilet. heh heh. whoops. lol. yea. e montague wuz thought provoking too. for the first time, i actually felt the repercussions of my decision to leave halfway during the XP. i realli should hav stayed. but den again, wads past is past. i cant do a ting bout it. i promised myself i'd nver regret, but even now. ... yea. im feeling quite, down i guess?, bout it. im blaming myself for my weakness. i totally broke down dere, even though no one saw it. it wuz so dark in my head, i couldnt see wad i wuz doin. sucks to be weak. it realli sucks to be at the bottom of the food chain.
training also consisted of 24 rounds, each round 1min40secs. slow alreay. but naturally i burned out. and im not sure it's totally my knee to blame. i dun believe it's a injury. i tink it's an illusion i came up with in my damnable weakness. yea. i burned fer a while, den i forced myself back onto the track. i didnt care. i swore to myself id finish it, if only to prove to myself i can do it. i mean, g.chamah wuz kind enuf to allow me the confidence of doing sum ting ive nver done. so it's time to repay dat kindness by using dat confidence. im not sure if i finished the whole ting. only 2 ppl did. cause at first, we ran as a group. but slowly, we broke up. yea. ppl lagged here lagged dere. i lagged like mad behind honda eugene dey all. but i still pushed on. im glad bout sum ting though. i finally felt wad rod wuz toking bout 2 months(?) ago. the strength of ur frens presence. ms chok also mentioned it. but i couldnt sense it den. now ive finally found it.
so. the only thing to do is to work at my weaknesses. i see em clearly. first step. friday morning. cardio training. sprint around the track fastest speed. rest 30 secs. another lap. top speed. do 2 sets. ms cheong's advice. time to take it.
here's a poem i found in the library today. im oso gonna write down my feelings at the time wen i tried to analyse it. cant rmb the author's name. but i'll find it and put it down.
The little world the subject of my muse
Is an huge task and Labour infinite
Like to a wilderness or mass confuse
Or to an endless gulf, or to the night.
How many strange meanders do i find?
How many paths do turn my straying pen?
How many doubtful twilights make me blind?
Which see to limn out this strange All of man?
Easy as it were the earth to portray out
Or to draw forth the heaven's purest frame
Whose restless course by order whirls about
Of change and place, and still remains the same
But how shall men's, or manners' form appear
Which while i write, do change from what they were?
My response:
A cheapening of the senses endowed
Disgraceful beyond all measure
This restless and abominable disintegration
Threatens to take the very heart of me.
Like a feint to the eye
Performed in all desperation
A stab at understanding
The layered and intricate minds of geniuses
Over-lunging on loose footing
We fall headfirst down to a deep well
Sucked forth into the abyss
Everdeeper into eternal night
Where heaven's brightest flames dwell
Have we the strenght to lay eyes upon them
The cheap, shamed knaves we are?
before being blinded by it's finesse
Thrust back into the night
1:07 AM
