Saturday, April 21, 2007
damn tired. mae legs are completely destoyed.
yesterday for odac had to bring down massive backpack. filled up to brim with 12 1.5 liter watter bottles. total weight = 18.sumting sumting kg. yea not VERY accurate. but wad the hell la. anyway yea. filled it up. very heavy. felt like mae back wuz getting torn in half. lol... but tk god fer the waist strap... XD hu eva invented it is a god damned genius. haha. it took off at least 70% off the weight... so mae shoulder didnt drop off. heh heh. lol.
hikes out of skool at 3 plus. not too late la. so hike hike...hike out to balestier road, turn into jln datoh. cross overhead bridge down to toa payoh e hdb flats dere. located 2 buildings. one 40 storeys. one 30 storeys. split into 2 teams. everything ready. training begin. climb.
can die. injured my IBT running 2.4 earlier in the day. so fucking pissed off with myself. i trained moderately hard and i got injured running mae standard. shits. so now ibt strain on both legs. can die. so climb up first 40 wuz damn torturous. but i had the encouragement of frenz to push me along. den i could almost hear fi's voice ringing in mae ears. :D so touching huh? den sry hor.. my ear itchy had to scratch. den e voice disappeared. o.O whoops. so first 40 over. me and shiyu take lift down cause knees cannot tahan e descent. sure wear out de. so lift. lift oso half way nearly cannot tahan us sia... e cables all straining. haha. whining away. oh and ya. shiyu can bitch like 10 whiny gals. bleddy amazing. everything oso want complain. bag heavy la... mr lim is a bastad la... zha zha zha... and so on and so forth. wadeva. ahha.
nxt 30. nearyly bui tahan. but did it. tks daniel man. :D super man sia... so much energy to climb and encourage and sing song... sing odac song oso half way forget lyrics.. o.O k. nvm. haha. 30 over. nother 40. nearly wanted to give up. but pushed on with kannan and help of daniel. and agatha oso. so push. PUSH sia. leg like gonna break. halfway pop again. but dun care push. cannot oso muz can, cause cannot oso muz can. and in the end? cannot? nonsense. cannot become can. :D i did total 110 storeys. and im proud. yea daniel. u were right. i would be proud. and i am. im getting dere.
1:44 AM
Monday, April 16, 2007
wa horrid. today run 2.4 kena migraine... hais. horribly weak man.. but now i noe why. i lack sugar+water. nvm. easy prob to fix.. get ready sia mr lim... a runner coming through. :P heh heh yea rite.
ok. studies coming round in a positive way. finally. i TINK i managed to get e hang of my geog answering scheme. mayb not. depends on mae essay la. but funni feeling dat i actually bungled it. maths is.. more or less.. ok la. juz need revision and practice. lit is doing fine. more analysis needed but im fine with dat, used to it liao. and erm.. lets see.. yea. econs is ok as usual. fer now. but i predict shit to come. and gp. ah. gp. bungled dis one. recent CA wuz screwed up. according to ms oei, whole class failed. so yea. disppointed. dere goes chances of doing KI. but hey. wadeva. i juz need to keep mae chin up and pump in more effort. yea. :P
hmmm... longo time nver break liao.. mae reflexes hav slowed. hais. tried doing mae usual routine. horrible failure. legs juz got tangled up and arm not flexible enuf anymore. so disppointed. all dat hope fer shits. hmm.. no time luh..
ah. bball dis morning with shi yu. :( wad the hell. 0 to 11. cock up playing lah. damn tough. but im almost dere. i juz need to look at e way he plays again. den i can crack his pattern. he plays well, LOOKS complicated. BUT. juz hav to see e pattern to noe dat he does e SAME ting all over again. juz hav to break his rhythm. haha... easier said den done.. but well. patterns are wad i can see. :P
hais. k la. slp liao. i got nth much to sae.. or.. mayb.. k la. drop dis one in. empty mae brain b4 bed.
the screech of gulls above
tears the fabric of my disorientation
in bewilderment i gaze
at the roiling waves ahead
on a beach of basalt
the sky above glows a sickly purple
the air is filled with the sweet-bitter smell of kelp
unwillingly wafting into my tortured nostrils
that have smelt so long the stench of fear
a respite
grains of darkness sting my feet
but waves of foam lap up to sooth it
pain. and it's disappearence.
all makes for an intriguing experience.
albeit a tortured one
and now. my vision passes
into the troubled dunes of my mind
lost in the sandstorm
that consciousness ignites
light bursts from slitted eyelids
and i forget. for a while.
dis is a conceptually new poem im trying. new imagery and devices. check it out.
6:36 AM
Friday, April 13, 2007
finally get a chance to post sum ting again. :D cant use e com so often luh. muz do constant studying.. hais. exams are realli round e corner. i realli need to get all mae subjs under my tight as hell belt. IN particular geog and lit now. gp not so bad.. maths.. maths ah.. dat one sure die la so no worries. o.O hais.. morrow oso got e stupid reach cambridge test ting WHICH im not ACTUALLY supposed to go for. damn fucking irritated la. hais. but i should be proud of the fact that e teachers chose me though (for wadeva) reason.. hais. oh and yea. i failed mae ODAC knowledge test. and the 2.4. ARGH, im so discouraged by every damn ting la.. and dis stupid test ting is probably gonna kill me furthur... i mean. i hav nth to study on! o.O where e fuck are the notes? shit la.. sure fail like shit. and disappoint teachers. shit la.
oh and yes. ive completely done sum ting which is biting on mae self conscience as well as mae self respect. e fact that i didnt run to caldecott wit mae fellow odacers EVEN though i know jolly well i could survive dat run at DAT pace even if i have half a ton of mucus stuck up mae nostrils. i noe i can. but why didnt i do it? lazy wad. not proactive wad. not extra wad. not man wad. no courage wad. chao ji ham ji to e core la. fuck im realli detesting myself. such behaviour i cant tolerate in me. why so FUCKING HAM JI?!
ok. cannot tahan. i need to rest. my legs are kiling me. bitch bout myself another time. shit. peace.
6:51 AM
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
wa lao. ODAC is reali takin it's time lol. i mean, e selection wuz supposed to be... erm.. i tink monday? but till now (tuesday), it's like.. still not out? o.O mayb im juz being kan cheong. but cant help it la. i want odac so bad. hais.. muz put in more extra sia. haha... yea. gotta tink up of more questions to post on board.. haha. like philosphy? :P
yay. finished off some work.. got some more. but at least e pile is more or less under control.. woot. finally. not so stress liao. oh yea. big news. dere is dis reach cambridge ting going on in skool fer several subjs. it's like.. erm. how to sae. dey kinda send u to cambridge to experience lectures etc la. haha. but still hav to undergo selection. dey asked us once during a lecture and hey hey. guess wad. no one interested. typical typical. but teachers are smart, as ive recently discovered. haha. dey had a list of ppl dey wanted to tryout fer a test on saturday. o.O at 8 in e freakin morning. like 1.5 hours. crazy. and whoo. i got chosen. onli one in my class to kena. o.o. not fun sia... but hey. why not? mayb i'll get to go to cambridge. :D heh heh
argh. midyears comin soon.. fer both GP and maths.. beta study hard and clear em both. GP is a worrying factor for me sia. very diff format from ss.. but i suppose once i find some similarities.. mayb can hav success? :P i hav half a mind to ask mr tan to help me out. ms oei, no matter how hard she tries, realli CMI sia. but... mayb give her chance? haha. let her mark mae recent essay and see how.. haha. LOL. im damn mean. but i cant help it. it's a mean world. and wen the world's mean, the mean exist. because to exist, dey need to be mean. make sense? haha.
whew. so sian now.. gonna chow down on some, ... well.. chow. :P haha. senseless. peace. :P
1:59 AM
Thursday, April 05, 2007
k. poem time.
anxiety makes a nest in my heart
boring through
to the other side
erupting in decandent splendour
i walk about with a stilled face
smile when im asked to
frown when it's time to
but the pain blossoms
like an ache
from heart to chest
from chest to body
i burst with it
and now im bleeding
but im not crying
im laughing
and im running all the way
hmm. i like dis one. it's a long long time since i wrote poem. so dis is like a return from retirement. :P hha!
7:11 PM
Monday, April 02, 2007
long time no post. so decided to pull out sum time to write sum ting. musn't let dis site gather dust eh? talking bout time.. ive gotta realli plan sum time management. honestly speaking. economics talks bout scarcity of resources. i hav scarcity of TIME sia.. mayb can use econs to solve mae prob.. :P yea. but truly. im realli bogged down with a whole load of stuff la. i've got work dats piling up. PW is giving me headaches ( i hate projects ). yea... e fact dat im not confirmed in ODAC yet is oso stressing me out. i'd realli want to get in dere. but if i cant i gotta realli move on and find another alternative. sucks... but currently 5 day a week training. moreover i hav to study for knowledge test on wed. 2.4 test morrow and wed. i tink i'll fuck it. pull up test is e onli one i hav no prob with... shit la. worrying factors dat cause early signs of balding..
whew. gotta learn to keep mae sats free. i'll DIE if i dun go to mass fer one week.. it's mae onli respite from this tidalwave.. gosh... need to meditate more often. :P yes. i meditate. haha. im veri confused over work and stuff.. need to get promoted. cannot get retained. mayb e onli way to it is to let it become an obsession? hais. i dunno. see how
i gtg. slp. morrow morning run and 2.4. wish me luck.
7:36 AM
