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Respite To Scotland

JianLin
fiona
Dorville
val
Joyce

Li Wen

J Lau

Gwen

WikiQuote

Nadine
Tara
Shoes
Rod
T2

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okey... tag replies.

jerome-ffyona: :DD loves u too ya! haha.. yea man. muz meet up more often. or wen we hav e chance.. lol.. i wanna play BBALL!! :D haha... kk. dun ferget to study ya? keep going strong. WHOO!

jerome-GWEN: yes yes. i agree. :P hope i dun get kicked out or anything.. gosh. deir clearing out all e ppl hu CMI. die la.. how.. muz WAKE UP MY IDEA. :D ha. tc.

jerome-valerie: updated dear! haha... lol. blur la u.. :P but i tink ive eva walke into e wrong car b4.. so haha! :D see u in church more ya? -hugs.

k. dats done. whew. legs still sore from odac. :D but im happy. sucky thing is deir starting to clear out all the CMI ppl. like wad i said above la. muz realli wake my idea. i love dis cca and im gonna fight to stay in it. so im gonna run faster and longer. dats how much i want it. pain? no pain no gain. but i dun feel no pain. NO SWEAT sia... ahha. my idea is waking up. :D waha.

ooooh yea. e j2s organized sum obstacle course thing fer us.. hmm. we're supposed to do dunno how many laps round e skool... i tink one anyway. den got parellel bar.. monkey bar... aaaaand... suicide window den wall. :P haha. sounds easy? well it aint. fer one... the run takes up sum of ur strength.. one lap round e skool? ok la. still can tahan. problem. gotta run up e slope to e obstacle course itself. whoops. where did all mae strength go? :P haha.. gone like the wind.. parellel bar still can tahan.. but wa lao.. e monkey bar.. CRAZY sia. dat is no monkey bar! it's a god damned battle dome! shit.. e bar is oso damn slippery. -.- sweaty palms ya. haha. k. e suicide window is damn FUN> :D heh hhe. showing off me knockers to e world! haha... but it wuz fun la. wall? no sweat no sweat. been playing on dat kinda wall since pri skool. sun bathing. o.O" hha. strange. anyway... proud of meself. :D i couldn't handle e monkey bar during prac. always fell off on 3rd bar.. sian man. but during e course itself, i pushed and cleared it! :D heh heh. power sia. happiness.

sian. k now i gtg eat. strange post yes? yes. write more nother time.. new poems! :D peace.

whew. havent had the time to blog in SUCH a long time.. gosh. ha. sry la. e schedule fer skool now is pretty hectic.. keeping me EXTREMELY busy... even now im printing out maths notes from the first 3 mnths dat i missed. page after page after page. SIAN. gotta bring it down to class to share. let em photocopy and spread. haha. at least we're all a lil more bonded. :P first few days kinda sucked cause it wuz so quiet. now lotsa beta. at least we're talking and we roughly noe each other's names. i tink. o.O

ladeda. i joined odac. yes yes. ppl are gonna tell me im gonna die blah blah blah. but shits man. i join liao. wad to do. :D heh heh. first day... which wuz yesterday... 10 KM RUN!!! ....


thos hu noe me NOE im not a runner person.. but hey. situations arise. and man adapts ya? so i went fer it as best i could.. but still couldnt complete.. ended up busting mae knee. o.O complete bout a lil more den half. hais.. disapointed. im weak. but i'll unweak (such a word? o.O) myself by trying harder! :D waha!

hmm. studies. scary. i noe i'll fuck everything up if i dun start studying now. which is wad im TRYING to do. gosh. i hope i get myself going early sia... not good to lag. i noe wad happens. hais. sian. trying to awaken mae flame ya noe? geog is scary. econs is scarier. lit is... interesting. :P but still scary. ha!

man. my bballing is SLIGHTLY beta onli. dribbling wise im still fumbling. and im panicking... gotta get mae idea rite.. and all.. yea. hais. but at least im scoring sum baskets. not like last time.. whole day facilitate passing... lousy sia.. anyway.. mae hands are itching BADLY. i need to break. o.O and soon... so shitting lethargic. of course. gotta wait fer mae knee to recover. aw man...

k reply tags nxt time ya? super busy. a shout out to val. :D hey girl!! haha. and fi. see ya friday ya?

peace

no longer looking down
no longer blinded by the dust
kicked up from the passage of others
no longer trampled
like the dirt under my feet
no longer railed at
by the badgering crows of life.

no longer despondent.
no longer morbid.
no longer grim
no longer weary
no longer shivering
from the lack of you

new life.
new strength
new me

i will walk because i can
i will talk because i can
i will laugh because i can
i will dance because i can

the memory of you lives on in me
not as chains on my soul
dragging me to the depths of despair
but as the wind under my wings
the strength in my limbs
pushing me foward
your running alongside me
i don't need to look.

i know your there
i feel you there

silent encouragement
we'll run together
and we'll never stop

let's go.

ok. replay to tags. cause of my tiny lil tagboard which makes replying a real bitch. XD

jerome-valerie: heh heh... XD bet those ppl behind were scowling like nuts. wahaha!! ya u did! nvm.. nxt time i shall remind u.. lol. random manda.

jerome-ffyona: hey tu di! kinky like anything.. :D haha.. miss u too ya? damn sian im stuck at home now like under house arrest. o.O sian sian. hope to hav a game of bball soon ya? whoo!

jerome-Gwen: yea. it's true. but down that dusty road we'll find more gold. :D look up not down ya?

jerome-liwen: o.O" tyco shots.. wazat? ... -flips Dummy's Guide to Basketball- diao dun hav leh.. show me show me.. look pro or not ah? i oso wanna learn sia.. :P

jerome-joyce: yea.. like i replied Gwen 2 tags above dis one. we;ll hav to keep looking ahead and be optimistic. like me! im stuck at home. alone. having a conversation with my shadow and me. but im positive! for one thing i now noe mae shadow enjoys english earl grey tea and it's lactose intolerant. kinda like an abstract jared. ... o.O"

jerome-GrinReaper: HEY DUDE!! :D haha... lol.



k. replies complete. XD i always get a kick out of doing this. k. as u can all probably tell.. im stuck at home again.. looking after mae mom cause she's ill. im not realli pissed. juz bored.. but consolation. mae bro is going off fer camp tonight till sunday. :D oh yea. e ps2 is mine! fer 2 days at least.. wahahaha.. haa. hais... but im still kinda missing A3 a lil. wonder wad dey're doin.. im hestiating to msg any of em cause i dun wanna interrupt e fun... :( oh well. dere's a bright side of life. and it's name is morphin in the form of biscuits. :D hash crackers u can call em. wahaha!

hais. juz got news dat windi is withdrawing from cj.. sadness... wads e even worse part? o.O e guy population in our class juz dropped... so now it's 4 to.. how many girls? 20 over? o.O it's a gangbang sia... LOL. hmm. shucks. a reminder. ive still got maths hw to do. :P waha. i need fan zhi's help on dis.. gosh. it's all amaths AGAIn. sian. ARGH. hope i can get into e bball team.. plz give me good news.. argh.. *prays prays

oh yesh. went to shawn's place with fan zhi.. erm.. wen? 3 days ago? XD mae blogging is strange one. no fixed order.haha. so like we went dere.. played ball and stuff. realli shits. i KNEW i shud hav worn mae balling pants. at e end of it? i hav a pair of pants dat looks like i juz had a piss on. honest. disgusting.. it's stil in mae bag. rotting. o.O orh crap. *runs*


...
...
...
...


*runs back* kae done. chucked e moldy ting into e wash. :P im so unhygenic la... gosh. hands itching like mad.. dying to break again.. need to noe more freeze.. wanna try kicks. :D waha. sadly injured mae arm on an attempted one hand airbaby. shucks la... hais. so anyway met jaz at shawn's place.. haha! so weird luh... i knew it wuz her wen i saw dis fuzzy black ting bouncing on the wall.. dat wuz actually her jumping to see hu wuz at the court. :P LOL. nth to sae nth to sae... so like stoned at shawn's court b4 proceeding to stone SOMEMORE at his place.. haha! like sum sorta htel or wad. sry man... yea. played pool at jaz's place! XD i suck. dere wuz dis kid at the lounge making a hell lot of noise.. completely pissed fan zhi off. gosh. u nver eva want to see fan zhi pissed off... he shouts like... whoa. yea? haha... seen him throw furniture about.. so not fun ya? a shout out to all irritants out dere.

k... hands are tired.. gonna go chat with val fer a while. and den? :D LOTR time... longo nver play play... ooooh.. peace.

morning. maths lecture. o.O" wa buay tahan man. beta start waking up my idea. haha. i gotta get mae adrenaline pumping fer the 2 years prep fer A's!! haha. like wad dennis koh said wen i nearly kena retained. cannot do things half way. start, muz hav finish. no finish, means not man. WHOO. inspiration or wad hhuh? haha... LOL. yea. actually, truth be told, i wuz glad to drag mae ass out of bed for sum ting. honestly. after A3, all the joy in the little things of life seem blown away. cause i had the big one fer a while. hmm. yea. so. new chapter. new page. new... underwear? :D yea... haha.

so... yea. bus. walk. stone listening to mp3. like a zombie. yea. e living dead. im so gonna write a poem bout dis... oooh yea. inspiration slapped me twice and farted in my face, so i cant possibly ignore it now can i? ahaha... e bus journey wuz... inextraordinary. yea. i tink dats e right term. if not, god bless me, i dun deserve that A in eng. walked up to the usual side gate. locked. oh tks a lot. so walked on to the main gate. walk? nothing special so far. went over the whole place to find freaking lt 4. found it. stoned outside it. im alone. ok. so? im fine. ive got mae shadow waving at me. -waves back frantically

teacher comes. old person. whoo. great. ok. time to sidetrack.



>>>>>>>SATURDAY>>>>>>
waha. had mass with the gang... haha. val and manda were cam whoring.. lol... i tell you one day.. that flash function u find so handy in the dark is gonna go off.. :D whoo.... *sings the lemon tree song.

haha... yea. james has flu. leaking nose like the Grand Canyon or sum ting. haha. leak. leak. leak. leak. leak. ooooooooooooooooooze. ... eww. den.. sniff sniff. haa. ridiculous.

i need more mass. couldnt pay attention to father cause mae attention wuz on val.. :D ahaha!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

k. back to monotonity. whoo. maths lecture. 1 hr. best lecture of mae life? why? cause it's short. no bullshit.. mmm. mae kind of thing.. sat nxt to clarance and windie. lol. had to copy down syllabus rite? haha. by the time clarance got his notebook out. poof. transparency gone. :D i noe i noe. it's LAME but hey? i gotta hav laughs.

rest of day is nth special. ive got another emo poem though. i tink it's emo. but i tink it's more of morbidity. and confusion. and eccentricity. waadeva mae essence possesses at dis time.

grey skin
matching the greyness of the day
and the greyness of his soul
all stuck on this one way train
going god knows where

the in between once more
the neutral
the middleman
between the black abyss
and the glaring white of heaven

lost in transit
like baggage
without purpose
motive
goal

his eccentricity scares
he can see the fear in their eyes
as they try to politely run away
it's ok.
he doesn't know.

or maybe, he doesn't care?

we'll never know.

gosh. blogging twice in a day. what a sin. ahaha. anyway. i cant sae much. i noe im supposed to post sum ting fer fi to read but... i havent had the chance to properly tink bout it.. so it'll come out bad if i try now. instead... here's a piece of work im doing on the spot. mae latest after so long.

the dust covered pen.
the yellowed page.
the dying embers
of a once raging bonfire
a painful past,
living in multidinuos colours

a shudder
a twitch.
the pen flicks off the coating of history
flaring with new life
ressurrection
shaking off it's immobility

the blank yellow page
smelling of mold
now bears the burden of words
an immaterial idea made physical
a sacred transformation
of the in-between

tears wash the page's suffering away
as words dig at memories
once thought healed.
picking at the scabs
drawing fresh blood
that obscenely pools in abundance

it's weird. havent written in a while..

ok. mae tagbox.. is tiny. :P so i shall reply over here.

jerome-ffyona: yea u kinky bugger.. :P haha. tks! im feeling. .. .. old. haha. cheers!

jerome-GWEN: tks ya! haha.. sry. i shall try to stop writing so emo liao. haha!

jerome-joyce: tks joy joy!! :D haha...

jerome-MEL: tks yo! haa. EX-marist. XD

jerome-Bboy Mark: yo guy. sry. r u tagging bout e post where i wuz bitching bout mae parents? cause in dat post i wuz referring to my parents' point of view. bboying, as i understand it, is an art in motion. and contrary to other peoples' preconceived notions, it's not that dangerous. sprain wrists are as about as dangerous as it gets anyway. but hey! i appreciate u taggin. tks man. and yea. i met up with a bboy in cj. used to be in e same sec skool as me. peace yo.

first day at cjc today. ya noe? i really find their layout fer the bus stop damn cool? haha. it's like right outside the campus on dis private lane. :P call me old fashioned or easily satisfied or wadeva. but yea. hmm. easy ride dere. straight bus. saw shawn and fan zhi in e morning too. gosh. wish we were in the same place. but yea. too bad.. 153 came. crowded like anything. onli 1 person could find space to board. so yea.. i let it go. 10 mins later 105 came toddling by. not too bad. 2 ppl could board. XD lameness.

i thought i might feel sum excitement of the unknown. sum under current of fear even. nth. didnt feel a damn ting. hmm. strange. still pondering bout it. mayb burnt out of me? i dunno. wuz kinda numb and very logical bout it all. yea. didnt care dat most ppl dere were probably not marists and probably ppl i wouldnt now anyway. yea. true enuf. small percentage of marists. big group of unknown dudes and dudesses. scared yet? nope. not yet.

ok. typical stuff la. all gather into hall. seperated from familiar classmates and ex classmates and schoolmates. k. isolated with a bunch of ppl hu seem to noe each other. ok. daunted? not even close. national anthem. sing sing sing. k. done. finito. wads nxt?

course talk.

o.O"""" I WANT MY MUMMY!!!!

haha. yea. dat wuz the WORSE course talk in mae whole life! fer sum reason mae muscles were all aching up. butt not helping. couldnt stand properly fer a while.. :P muz be getting old. haha! lol. so yea. den after dat had sum group thingy. e group leader, dis j2 called.. erm.. wads his name? oh yea jason. yea! funni guy man. realli nice. from SJI apparently. nver heard of a guy from SJI swearing like a drunken sailor in the middle of a night with a whisky bottle shoved up his behind. but hey! :D dere's a first fer everything.

anyway yea. ppl dere (JAE) were quite ok. but. sad. everywhere i look i can see traces of A3. i thought i heard guanlin screaming. gwen calling. albert's hair on a diff guy's head. nj's back. track girls remind me of fi and li. oh fuck... im going crazy with pain.

yea. morrow i finish at 8. beta rest up and stuff. im going crazy yo. peace.

im shitted. cant go jared's house. cant even see A3 fer e last time. cant cry to let it out. it's all juz stuck inside. burning me up. can u see the smoke coming out of my ears? dats wads left of mae soul. charred and burnt. a by product of a happy time. guess i hav to sae goodbye rite here. cant do it anywhere else. im supposed to hav mae priorities else where. oh well. juz another scar on me. it'll make me stronger wun it? yes. it will.

but im still missing you guys. bye. for now.

blogging twice in a day. o.O" this is bad. means im bored stupid. ha. anyhow.. yea. shawn came by. i said rite? yea. went down to prac.




ugliest air freeze in the world. and i juz found out mae swipe is bad. talk bout a bad day.

another boring day. feeling a bit down la. supposed to hav dinner with A3 today at taka. seoul garden and stuff. but father wun let.. hais. guess i'll meet up with em morrow at jared's? hope i can go la. o.O" gosh. my hand itchy like crazy man! seriously need to play ball soon or i may wake up to find my hands rotting on e floor or sum ting. haha. gosh.. bouncing ball in house now. i noe it's inconsiderate. i noe it's rude. but i dun care. whoo. the rebel without a cause.

shawn is over to keep me company. haha. preciate it lol.. later going down to break a bit. dance off the pressure. haha... so sian of being cooped up at home all day.. gotta do sum ting. quick. well anyway. rite now he's gettin his ass trashed by mae bro on nba. o.O" looks like another 100 to 0 kinda score. mae bro is home too. SUPPOSED to be sick.. but hey? he's not. :D haha. lil devil.

HAHA. finally got mae new fone! :D awesomeness... W810I. wasnt e one i initially wanted though.. wanted to go with the W850I. but dat damn ting wasnt in stock, and it cost 388. wen it wuz FINALLY in stock, it sprouted up to 428. o.O" fuckers. lousy asses.. but ya la. technically e same fones, cept if i went with the 850i, i'd hav to pay bout.. wad? 200 bucks? juz fer e extra 3G. yea.. not worth it la. i dun even hav ANY use fer 3G. but anyway.. walkman fone here. so... :D perfect fer a bboy like me. haha.

sian.. gotta do house chores. hmm.. mayb i shud ask bert to come over and help? :) onli guy i noe hu actively does house chores.. pro moppers! and we can come up with a moppers society or sum ting. ladeda. im kinda rambling away here.. mad with confinement. haha. oh yea. joy joy showed me a poem she wrote last nite. im not sure if she wrote it last nite. but she showed it to me last nite online anyway. ahah. :D nice go joy.. realli nice poem. it had repetition and stuff and all e regular devices.. and i can feel some emotion in it. :D so yea. ... hais. im stil too gloomy to write anything decent. ppl tell me it's decent. but it's still morbid and stuff. bout emo closed windows and doors with light behind and all dat repetitive shit. o.O" dats e aspect of poem writing i fear e most. see. to write a poem, u need 2 things. well, as i see it anyway. yea. u need 1. A perspective/point of view. and 2. emotions. u need to be very emotive in particular to write good poems.. the mindset shud be sum ting like.. erm... i wrote it. and i stand by it. sum ting like dat. it's a twisted pride in wad u do in short. haha. yea.. anyway.. since im a bit traumatised from switching collegs and new lifestyle, mae poems reflect mae mood. yea.. so the degree of morbidness in mae poems reflect how moody i realli am. :D im still smiling though. sum tings wrong with me.

kk. im off to cuddle mae new fone and trash shawn at nba too. trashing. try 200-0 sorta score. :D peace.