Thursday, February 15, 2007
im having a very extreme day today. VERY extreme. in the sense that there's extreme good and extreme bad. yea... both giving me extreme joy and extreme frustration, bordering on re-initiating that pent up anger.
the GOOD. class wuz 'celebrating' valentine's today.. haha. i felt so bad, and kinda left out la. i mean EVERYONE wuz exchanging gifts. but i had no cash.. so yea. too bad la. wa lao... yana wuz nice enuf to give EVERYONE a lil sum ting of deir own... :( feel damn bad. cause i realli didnt get any of dem anything... all i had wuz poem i wrote the night b4.. i realli felt guilty fer not bringing anything at all la. so i wrote one that included the whole class. juz reading the bloody thing makes me moody la. i'll explain bout dat later. i spent most of the breaks shooting hoops to keep my mind off things. tk god my blister didnt' crack and tear again. o.O" eww. haha. it wuz realli stinging like mad e past few days... at least now it's beginning to heal.. finally. haha. couldn't dribble properly for fear of opening the wound. but i tink i did kinda well. learnt a couple of new moves AND improved on dat turn ive been recently trying to grasp. :D whoo. pro sia... nxt time can try and take on shi yu.. haha. layups r improving drastically... shots? still kinda shitty.. nth a lil prac and time cant fix. haha. oh yea.. finally got mae beanie! :D wahaha.. awesome.. now i'll be able to break with head protection! haha. safe breaking. o.O if it's actually considered safe.
k. the BAD. my parents are pressuring me to stop gng to MI. dey are INSISTING dat it is COMPLETELY not important now dat i can go to cj. pissing off completely. i mean. it's not freakin completely useless la. it's still the god damn SAME syllabus. and im not completely wasting time at all. fuck i learn alright. i've already fucking proven that im not intellectually challenged by performing fucking FAR up the bar dat u had set. the standard of a retard if i guessed rite. i noe u ppl tink im sum sorta shithead without his prorities rite and dat im probably semi retarded. yea? well u can juz look the other way cause im FUCKING NOT. alrite? AL-FUCKING-RITE? 14 points fer o's is a feat. u gonna keep comparing me to mae god sis? check dis out. same pnts ok. SAME. and PRIORITIES? dun even tink bout taunting me to stay on in MI k? dat will really piss me to no end. let me sae dis. i hav my head screwed on right ok? i KNOW dat studying in MI wun get me anywhere. i noe all the shit b4 u can EVEN tink it. i noe. i stuck to mae choice. cjc. i wanted it. i still want it. no change. but u juz hav to PUSH PUSH PUSH. U R MAKING ME PAY FOR YOUR INSECURITIES. im sick of it. so sick. stop pushing me plz.. im begging u. plz. i noe. i'll let go. juz dun tear me into 2 like dis. plz. it's SO FUCKING hard to let go of my classmates. it hurts. and you're not helping. i dun tink u'd realli now wud u? as usual. fine. keep pushing. im not even sure wad i'd do. so go ahead. i might juz freak out and kill both of u and my brother or sum ting. or jump out the window, cut myself again. step in front of a car. or worse. retreat. juz run away to my place in MY head. a place dats still mine. u can't screw it up dere. i'll juz close the door on u. no more for me. we'll see.
now wasnt' dat emo or wad? ha. yea. im kinda split in personalities... hais. one happy happy laugh like idiot the other super emo. prob is dese two personalities pop up randomly. ... hais. like i said. we'll see. ... peace.
p.s. sum one actually gave me a banana fer valentine's day. :D whoo!
4:20 AM
